As a prisoner, how you spend your time is crucial. I began having legal issues at 16, marking 27 years I can never reclaim. We often refer to it as the "Game," but unlike an actual game where you can pause and restart, real life doesn't offer such luxuries. A life sentence traps you in this "game" unless you find a rare and difficult way out. Does that sound like a game? In reality, when someone is murdered on the streets, there's no coming back. In a game like Call of Duty, you respawn. That's the difference. Let's stop altering the meaning of words. At 43, I've finally realized this. Experience is the best teacher only if it prevents you from repeating past mistakes. That’s learning from experience. It becomes a teachable moment, don't you agree? I've been to prison many times, and only by breaking this cycle will the experience truly teach me. This is my view, and while some may disagree, I stand by it unless someone can change my perspective. Now, with an older mindset, I see how prisons are structured and understand how we get caught in this cycle. When it comes to self-improvement, few are interested, and for those ready, numerous restrictions hinder rehabilitation.
For instance, beneficial programs are only available to those within 36 months of release. For someone contesting their sentence, it seems like they aren't trying to change because they can't access programs due to lengthy sentences. By "fighting their case," I mean if a new law emerges, they win an appeal, or return to court for any reason. This is crucial because judges consider post-sentencing behavior, and prosecutors often highlight a lack of participation in programs.
I'm fortunate to have a family that supports me emotionally and financially, allowing me to take correspondence courses. The odds are against us because these courses are costly, and few jobs here pay enough to further one's education. With the facility at full capacity, housing over 1500 prisoners, the chances of securing a good job are slim, but possible.
The school area, law library, and place of worship are small, yet the recreation yard can accommodate the entire prison population. We have treadmills, horseshoes, basketball courts, a volleyball section, baseball and football fields, areas for tennis and handball, racquetball, a running track, pool tables, hobby craft rooms, music rooms, board games, televisions, etc. There are more facilities, but this suffices to make my point. Staying healthy is fine, but the brain is the most vital muscle, and if we're not mindful, all these distractions keep us stagnant. Before we realize it, our time is up, and we've learned nothing new, increasing the likelihood of returning to prison.
Let's be honest: how can we try something new if we haven't learned anything new? Use your time to educate yourself instead of getting lost in trivial activities. More importantly, educate yourself to avoid coming here in the first place. That's my greatest hope and the reason I write these heartfelt words to you all.
hamzah
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