Let me take my readers on a journey of how easy it is to get caught up in the lifestyle of a criminal, and what I experience day in and day out in prison. Before I start, let me say that I broke the law and prison was a consequence for my actions. However, I never thought that the punishment would be ongoing.
I'll keep it on a eye perspective, and I'm sure many will be able to relate. At a young age I experienced poverty and abuse. Sometimes I went to bed hungry. My parents like many others fell victim to the world of drug addiction. I saw things being sold for drugs I felt the pain of being picked on for not having the latest sneakers, clothes, toys, etc. I felt like a loser and suicidal thoughts crossed my mind plenty of times, but at that young age I didn't even know how to ask for help. on my street corner I saw drugs being sold day in and day out so at that young age I felt I had to sell drugs too to change my situation.
a lot of people feel that prisoners deserve whatever punishment comes our way as if because we broke law we are not humans. My problem with this is that breaking law has different consequences depending on who you are or how much you're worth. In here it's very few that care about us. The majority only know how to oppress us. Me personally, I'm a provider and protector. I've been incarcerated since March 3rd 2015. My out date is in 2029. I am serving a sentence for non-violent offense, no guns, and I've never had any history of violence. being unable to provide, teach and protect my children hurt my soul. Just knowing my grandmother is aging and I'm not there to help the woman that never gave up on me makes me at times feel less than a man.
I've accomplished a lot since I've been incarcerated. I've completed over 25 programs and three correspondence courses, but every time I try to get relief from the courts the government keeps painting the picture of who I was opposed to who I am today. When I first got locked up I was 38 now I'm 45. When I first got locked up I had no GED I now have my GED and have completed three correspondence courses that my family paid for. When I was home I never held a job over 8 months. during my incarceration I work straight through until covid hit then I was unable to work because of health issues which lasted a year. I'm currently back in the kitchen now. I work as an AM cook. The positions I had in the kitchen were sanitation and line server also a dining room cleaner. I have clear conduct ever since I've been incarcerated but when we strive for change it's looked at as being manipulative. When we fall ill we have to fill out a circle, sleep and wait, until we are placed on a list to address our issues. majority of the time when you finally see the doctor the problem no longer exists. We are told to be respectful, however, the way some of these officers talk to us it's unbelievable.
In order for us to compete once we reenter society we need to be educated, something that is a joke in here. how can one try something new when it's very little to learn in here. We are like cattled dollar signs behind bars toward it better. it's a small percent behind these Walls that want change and we need to society to find the key that the system threw away and unlock these doors and help us, those who want help. Is good and bad and everything so remember there's good prisoners like i, Hamzah, I've learned my lesson. My family loves me and needs me vice versa. This system needs to be just and stop over killing us with these sentences. if you assist the government by telling you get a major time cut, but if you remain silent, as I did you pay a hard price so is that just?
Do we really have rights? Look it up it's public information. Compare the sentence to the ones that told versus the ones that went to trial. Going to trial in the feds is a joke. 9 out of 10 you'll lose it's set up that way. It's a scare tactic to discourage people to fight for the rights. A lot of us did break law, however, some of what we was charged with isn't true, but what can you do take the 10 or blow trial and get 30? Of course the majority will take the 10 being right or wrong don't even matter at this point. It's all about trying to get home sooner than later. I briefly allowed you to walk in the footsteps of a prisoner that's tired. It's plenty of us that's ready we just need the public to notice us and make noise. We're ready and just need somebody to give us a chance and Believe in us. We are humans also, we have feelings, and we feel pain, and we learn and we can be rehabilitated.
Hamzah
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